{"id":49472,"date":"2026-02-24T11:32:44","date_gmt":"2026-02-24T11:32:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/?p=49472"},"modified":"2026-02-24T11:33:35","modified_gmt":"2026-02-24T11:33:35","slug":"a-thank-you-note-to-gisele-pelicot-from-womens-aid-and-survivors-everywhere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/a-thank-you-note-to-gisele-pelicot-from-womens-aid-and-survivors-everywhere\/","title":{"rendered":"A thank you note to Gis\u00e8le Pelicot: from Women\u2019s Aid and survivors everywhere"},"content":{"rendered":"

A thank you note to\u00a0<\/span>Gis\u00e8le\u00a0<\/span>Pelicot<\/span>:\u00a0<\/span>from Women\u2019s Aid and survivors everywhere<\/span><\/span><\/h1>\n

By Women’s Aid CEO, Farah Nazeer<\/h2>\n

As\u00a0with\u00a0all\u00a0those who work\u00a0in the violence against women and girls (VAWG) sector, I first became aware of\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u2019s story\u00a0as\u00a0it broke across international media in 2024, when she waived her right to anonymity and spoke the famous words: \u2018shame must change sides\u2019.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At Women\u2019s Aid, for over 50 years, we have been\u00a0working with\u00a0victims and\u00a0survivors of abuse as they escape their tormentors, rebuild their lives and seek justice. And I can tell you that those words will have meant everything to\u00a0those\u00a0women.\u00a0Sadly, we still live in a society that treats domestic abuse as\u00a0largely invisible\u00a0\u2013 stereotypes about who\u00a0is more likely to\u00a0experience it still prevail, as do the ideas that abuse is only abuse when\u00a0the repercussions are\u00a0physically visible. These prejudices follow women as they break free and seek justice, with countless women reporting that they\u00a0didn\u2019t\u00a0feel like they were believed by those in the criminal justice system, with others saying that the system was weaponised against them by\u00a0abusers.\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u2019s outstanding bravery\u00a0in choosing an open court\u00a0represents\u00a0an enormous step\u00a0towards\u00a0eradicating the silence that cloaks the experiences of so many women.\u00a0And her book, published today, goes even further.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides<\/span><\/i>,\u00a0published in the UK today, is poignant, searingly honest and\u00a0brave.\u00a0Yes, the book speaks to survivors and their experiences, making them feel seen,\u00a0heard\u00a0and\u00a0validated. But it also breaks down\u00a0the\u00a0stereotypes\u00a0around\u00a0violence against women and\u00a0children\u00a0\u2013 a vital step if we ever hope to live in a\u00a0society\u00a0which no longer tolerates it.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A heartbreaking example of\u00a0this runs\u00a0throughout the book, as\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u00a0talks about her and\u00a0Monsieur\u00a0Pelicot\u2019s\u00a0(Monsieur\u00a0Pelicot\u00a0is how she addresses him in the book and during court)\u00a0almost 50 year-long relationship and being seen\u00a0as the \u2018perfect couple\u2019 and\u00a0acting\u00a0like\u00a0\u2018teenagers\u2019. From the outside, they were\u00a0<\/span>perfect<\/span><\/i>, in love and committed to one another,\u00a0yet she\u00a0talks\u00a0about\u00a0\u2018all the incidents that I now realised were signals I had missed\u2019.\u00a0We know from our work with survivors just how true this is \u2013 abuse is insidious and so often \u2018invisible\u2019\u00a0to the outside world,\u00a0yet like\u00a0a slow\u00a0poison, it is always there, circulating and destroying the relationship and the love that led to it, piece by piece.\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u00a0was there for her husband, as women were expected to be for millennia,\u00a0time and again\u00a0supporting him through difficult family dynamics, through career setbacks and even the\u00a0initial\u00a0\u2018upskirting\u2019 charge, yet the entire time, he was\u00a0abusing\u00a0her.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gis\u00e8le\u2019s book is also incredibly powerful when it comes to describing the impact of trauma on the wider family, as well as on the generations that follow them.\u00a0She speaks with unerring frankness about the awful abuse that she heard about, and\u00a0witnessed\u00a0herself, in\u00a0Monsieur\u00a0Pelicot\u2019s\u00a0family.\u00a0She describes in visceral detail the abusive relationship between her father-in-law\u00a0and mother-in-law,\u00a0Denis\u00a0and Juliette\u00a0\u2013 something that would be so uncomfortable and unsettling to see for their children, yet sadly still too common\u00a0and ultimately, no\u00a0excuse for abuse.\u00a0She also talks about the impact that\u00a0Monsieur\u00a0Pelicot\u2019s\u00a0abhorrent actions had on her own family and their children.\u00a0The tragic reality of domestic abuse is that it goes far beyond the abuser and the survivor.\u00a0It\u00a0impacts\u00a0families, it hurts children, who become\u00a0victims\u00a0in their own right,\u00a0and\u00a0it continues to feed into misogynistic and sexist\u00a0attitudes\u00a0that still plague our society.\u00a0If we stand a chance of ending the epidemic of VAWG, much of the work must be centred around children and young people \u2013 they must be supported, they must be taught and they must understand what is and\u00a0isn\u2019t\u00a0acceptable when it comes to healthy relationships. Respect and consent are cornerstones of any loving relationship \u2013 without this knowledge, we are just going to continue the cycles of abuse that we have born witness to.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In addition to the many lessons\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u2019s book teaches us about the nature of abuse, the impact it has and the questions that survivors are left to grapple with, it also left me with an overwhelming sense of hope.\u00a0\u2018I heard joy and anger prevailing over silence, and I am more than happy to offer my experience as an example and my name as a battle flag\u2019 are\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u2019s\u00a0words\u00a0in the\u00a0final chapter. She has become\u00a0the face and\u00a0voice of resistance,\u00a0bravery\u00a0and hope. She has challenged\u00a0abusers, she has held them to account and, as a result, has kept countless other women safe from their predation.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gis\u00e8le\u00a0is a survivor and an ally, and if there is anything I learnt from my years of working in VAWG and leading Women\u2019s Aid, is that we need each other. We are a sisterhood and together, we are unbeatable.\u00a0We will come together for as long as we need to, until every sister, daughter, friend, colleague is safe.\u00a0And as we do, we will turn to women like\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u00a0\u2013 survivors who advocate and campaign, who face the unthinkable and\u00a0rise up\u00a0stronger. And\u00a0above all, who\u00a0never lose hope.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A thank you note to\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u00a0Pelicot:\u00a0from Women\u2019s Aid and survivors everywhere By Women’s Aid CEO, Farah Nazeer As\u00a0with\u00a0all\u00a0those who work\u00a0in the violence against women and girls (VAWG) sector, I first became aware of\u00a0Gis\u00e8le\u2019s story\u00a0as\u00a0it broke across international media in 2024, when she waived her right to anonymity and spoke the famous words: \u2018shame must change sides\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":913,"featured_media":49473,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"pmpro_default_level":"","inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-womens-aid","category-news","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nA thank you note to Gis\u00e8le Pelicot: from Women\u2019s Aid and survivors everywhere - 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